Previous Entry Share Next Entry
(no subject)
Nino Gaggi
rtype
I'm heartbroken.

I managed to drive away someone who I cared deeply about. I suppose it's my fault for getting my hopes up but it still really hurts. I considered this person one of my closest friends, only to have her dump me a few days before Christmas because she realized she wasn't in love with me and hated my personality. She resented spending time with me.

Ouch.

It doesn't make sense but I guess that's what I get for dating a 23-year-old. All my friends warned me before I got into the relationship but I didn't listen. I don't know, I guess it's hard for me to accept because I can't believe the things she is saying. If she hated my personality so much, then why did he hang out with me so often? We had good times together, i can't believe it was all torture.

I talked to a few friends and they tried to assure me that it's something she is going through and it doesn't have anything to do with me, but I don't know if I accept that. It has to be some sort of reflection on myself.

I feel like I'm right back to square one after my relationship with Liz ended. They both ended it saying I was a negative person. I'm really hurt by that. Maybe I can't see that aspect of my personality but believe it or not, I think of myself as an optimist. I want to improve my lot in life. I try to improve my artistic skills.

Breakups are the worst. I was feeling so good about myself and now I'm living in a world filled with self doubt. I cared for this woman deeply but she resented me. It hurts.

I think my problem is that I've been looking for happiness in romantic relationships instead of myself. I need to move on. I need to work on myself.

Should I try to stay friends with her? I really did get a long with her and she still says she wants to be friends. Whatever that means. I don't know. I'm tired of forcing people out of my life because I used to have sex with them. I've already lost my best friend and I feel like I'm going to lose another one. It's really sad.

I guess George Michael was right.


  • 1
No matter how many times friends warn you, you definitely will not listen and have to experience things for yourself. But seriously, dating a 23 year old was not a good idea. Girls are so nuts at 23... The person I was at 23 is a different universe from what I am now. I often get told that I'm a negative person and that's why I've spent the last year trying to work on that, but I don't think I'm close to it. I like to think of myself as a special sarcastic person instead :P I'll probably spend another year trying to work on that. I'm actually kind of scared of being with anyone in general though so i have a whole mess of other problems :P

I think you could be friends but maybe give yourself some time to get over it where you don't talk to her for a bit. I'm friends with nearly all of my exes now thankfully (except for my last bf but he was a very special ass) and I love having them in my life.

Thanks Jo. That means a lot.

Yea, ever since my relationship with Liz ended in August 2009, I've been trying to work on my negativity. I'm definitely sarcastic and a little cyncial but I'm not a misanthrope. I hate to "fake it till I make it" and just smile and radiate false positivity but maybe that's what I have to do? That's just not me.

Definitely giving it some time before I try to be friends again.

I don't know I'm definitely a happy person but I am sarcastic as fuck.... there's no way i can fake it and be overly bubbly/happy. i think you just have to find someone who can accept you for how you are.

(Screened comment)
(Deleted comment)
I wouldn't say it was all bad dating a younger woman. Everything is new for them and that enthusiasm is infectious. She was definitely, and to some extent, is a still a muse for me to progress in life. Poeple my age are largely complacent, especially with my group of friends. it was nice to have fresh energy.

(Deleted comment)
  • 1
?

Log in